Millions of milkshakes

Last night I went looking for the new self-serve yogurt place I'd spotted last time I was in West Hollywood (hasn't opened yet) and instead found myself in Millions of Milkshakes.

Their gimmick (because they all have to have one) is that they have over 100 toppings so you can "design your perfect milkshake". To say that Millions of Milkshakes is charmless is to give it too much credit. The shop is the epitome of streamlined bad taste.

Their fliers are better suited to advertize a rave. Their website has a bunch of pictures of D-list celebrites (a la Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardassian) consuming shakes named after them and they use the phrase "new craze" to an excess that acknowledges the short lifespan of a place merely looking to cash in, absent of any genuine love for food. Although the celebrity-shake-naming is MoM's secondary gimmick, it seems to be their primary marketing strategy. (I'm WAY more likely to buy a shake if it plays on zeitgeist termanology like "TOMKAT" because it's just like, ya know, more relevant.)

A few examples of celeb-shakes:
Lindsay Shake: Blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries with whipped cream.
Shake-ira: Cappuccino shake with whipped cream and a cadbury flake.
Britney Shake: Oreos and peanut butter with whipped cream and a cadbury flake.

Clearly, the celebrity names are arbitrary. If there were any correlation between the celebrity and the shake, the Britney Shake would be a Frappucino with Cheetos.

I ordered the Obama shake: Strawberries and cookie dough blended with frozen yogurt (at my request) and topped with whipped cream. It cost $5.95. For all of it's distracting fluorescent kitsch, MoM's Obama Shake is pretty tasty. They might have indeed delivered my perfect milkshake. So while I'm reluctant to endorse any such blatantly heartless enterprise, if you can make it past the superficial distastefullness, Millions of Milkshakes may actually surprise you. Maybe.

Lunchtime happy hour (12-4pm) has shakes from $2.95!
MoM is open until 2 a.m.

Millions of Milkshakes
8910 Santa Monica Boulevard
West Hollywood, CA 90069
millionsofmilkshakes.com
(213) 38-SHAKE